Neko

Monster Energy

Did you know you can have up to 400mg of caffeine a day before doctors say it's unsafe? That's two whole cans of monster(150mg per) with 100mg left over! Awesome!

Monster is my favorite drink ever, so here's my shrine dedicated to it. When I'm like 30 it'll probably start giving me heart palpatations but I'm still in college so I can have a can of that delectable panacea if I so please(and I do so please >:-D)

I will now rate all the monster flavors I've tried

Flavor	Rating	Notes
Zero Ultra	★★★★★	The best monster flavor. If you disagree you go to hell. Tastes like if someone invented an entirely new citrus designed to love you. If you sucked off a unicorn it would probably taste like White Monster.
Bisexual	★★★★★	This one is realy good! It's like the awesome bisexual counterpart to White Monster. Where the White Monster has the nebulous idea of a citrus, this on is definitively grapefruit, and it's very tasty. :-)
Strawberry Dreams	★★★★☆	What a delectable and refreshing strawberry flavor! I went to yummytown and everyone knew you, strawberry monster.
Ultra Blue Hawaiian	★★★☆☆	Quite good! Tastes exactly like what you signed up for when you decided to open the can - a mixture of pineapple and blue.
Orange Sunrise	★★★☆☆	A very solid orange flavor! It's quite difficult to mess up orange flavor, and this one just kind of tastes like a refreshing glass of sunny-d or fanta. Bonus points for not having sugar, like other orange drinks, so it doesn't feel super heavy either! :D The only reason it's not ranked higher is because I'm not too crazy on orange as a flavor.
American	★★★☆☆	Look. The flavor is fine. It's good even. It tastes like a wannabe pink redbull. I like the pink redbull! However, there are two big issues that I'm gonna dock points for. One, if I'm drinking American monster it's because I like the flavor and want the caffeine in my body, NOT because I want to rep the Earth's corniest country. Second, when July rolls around, all the White Monster gets kicked off from the front fridge in grocery stores. It's total BS! White Monster wins over American Monster any day and I object to seeing it treated like a second-class monster.
Ultra Peachy Keen	★★★☆☆	It's pretty good! Tastes like peaches, and if you're into that, this is definitely an awesome monster! I can totally see this being someone's favorite.
Lando Norris	★★★☆☆	I haven't a clue who Lando Norris is, nor why he is important enough to have his own monster flavor. However, I must admit the flavor is pretty good. The flavor profile is akin to that of honeydew and cucumber, and is overall quite nice.
Ultra Punk Punch	★★☆☆☆	This monster tastes like how machine gun kelly sounds. It's far too sweet and just sort of tastes off - not an actually fruit punch flavor, but rather something posing as the real deal. Also, the can design is quite boring for something that wants to call itself "punk."
Ultra Passion	★★☆☆☆	It's mid.
Ultra Paradise	★★☆☆☆	(!!TW EMETOPHOBIA!!) I used to be pretty into this one because the flavor is similar-ish to my favorite agua fresca. But then I drank it while I had a stomachache, then I threw up. Now whenever I so as look at a can, let alone drink one, I get reminded of throwing up. Sorry, lime monster.
Ultra Vice Guava	★★☆☆☆	Bonus points for cool can design, but I did not care for this flavor. It's ok, but nothing spectacular. Not offensively bad either, unlike some flavors.
The Original	☆☆☆☆☆	This flavor sucks ass. It tastes like if you got a golden shower from a red delicious apple that had too much to drink the night before. The color also contributes to this feeling. I've sucked dick that tasted better than original monster. It's bad, offesively so.
Red Monster	???	Apparently this one is discontinued? I tried this one before that, and I don't remember it being particularly awful or particularly good one way or another. It was probably ok.

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